Miniature Highway Patrolman, Meet Larger-Than-Life Aurora Gory Alice

So, I got pulled over on the way home from the bout on Friday night. It was about 11:00 PM and there were 5 of us in the car. I had just asked if anyone had seen a speed limit sign. No one had. Still, I came speeding up on the asses of 2 Highway Patrol cars. I passed one. Always a bold move, but, hey, why the fuck not? Anyhoo, he immediately pulled in behind me and flipped his lights on. Oops.

So I see him get out of his car and I debate my first words to him. I am thinking about saying "I know, you pulled me over to invite me to the Highway Patrolman's ball," praying that he will respond with "Highway Patrolman don't have balls." As we had all been drinking, I decide that maybe I will just hold my tongue and answer his questions.

He approaches with an attitude. Something about the speed limit being 45 because it was a construction zone, me passing 2 Highway Patrolman, and the car smelling like alcohol. I told him that I had had a couple of beers and the next words, as expected, were "Would you step out of the car?" I was not nervous about the sobriety test as I was not intoxicated, but I was feeling inconvenienced. So I throw the car door open and take the walk to the rear of the car to chat.

His tone was definitely different during the conversation outside. He asked questions in a normal tone of voice. The follow the pen test was brief, and he let me go with a abbreviated schpiel about impaired driving. I think back on it now, as I stood there dressed in my metal clad boots with the 3" sole (making me 6"2), knee socks, a short skirt with crossbones, and my uniform tank top which says "Obey Your Master" across the front and wonder if that had anything to do with the way it all went down. I wonder what he must of thought when I stood there next to him looking like a super hero. I wonder if that takes away from the powerful, dominating feeling he must be used to when people clamor for words and get nervous by his presence. I would guess Aurora Gory Alice may have stolen a little of his thunder that night.

If so, I am sarong and sari. Not.